October 16, 2011

Emotions... argh...

Just a quick little note mostly for myself to get it out.

I've done it at least 10 times at this point. His G-tube button looked loose, so I checked to see if the balloon had enough water in it. It was low, so I had to pull the button out to check the balloon to see if it was leaking. When I pushed it back in, it didn't go back in so smoothly, and it was a bit painful for him. I did not show him that it hurts me just as much. It usually doesn't affect me, but it did this time. Maybe because it was me that caused the pain, in a way.

That boy can get on my last nerve, but it rips my heart to pieces when he suffers. I know life is not meant to be painless, but when the pain is caused by CF, even indirectly, I want fix it for him.

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